Finding Hope

"Only in the darkness can you see the stars."

-  Martin Luther King Jr.

So yesterday was by far one of the best days for me. Not because I was pain free cause I wasn't. But because I found hope. I found a doctor that listened and helped me come up with a plan. Finding someone to ensure you that there is hope can make all the difference in the world. Why cant we find hope inside when everybody is telling us there is no hope at all? Well it's not impossible but definitely a very challenging task. 

This is one example of where the problems lie in the healthcare industry. Now not all doctors are this way but when I saw the orthopedic surgeon who by the way advertised surgical and non surgical options told me that in his opinion working at the hospital wouldn't irritate my back (now that I have to laugh at because obviously he had no idea what nurses do), and then preceded to tell me that my condition is permanent, that I wouldn't be able to do the things I used to do and will always be in pain. And as if all that wasn't enough he told me there was absolutely nothing he could do for me. So I need to remember to call the doctors office and tell them to have the non surgical part removed from his bio. 

Being a healthcare professional myself and now experiencing this is a great. Ok not great in the fact that I am enjoying it cause I am not but great in the fact that I will have an even greater understanding and compassion for my patients after this. Knowing that everybody needs a smile. Everybody needs to feel loved and cared for. And everybody needs some kind of hope. I know everybody's situation is different. But there is always something positive that can be given to them. Even if they are at the end of their life you can still bring them peace and happiness. 

So maybe all of this has happened for a reason. I have so many great things to look forward to in my life. My career has taken me to great places where I will have the opportunity to really make a difference. My life has given me experiences that have allowed me to reach out to others, to inspire them and help them to know that all things are possible. I am eventually going to have a family in which I will be able to make a huge impact in my child's life and hopefully help guide them toward peace, success and happiness in their own life. 

I am truly blessed and grateful for everybody that has helped me through this difficult time in my life. I have always felt as if I had to always be the strong one no matter what. That I wasn't allowed to fall down. A few days ago my husband said to me, "It's ok to let everybody else be strong for you right now. It's ok." Wow what a huge relief. You mean there are others that will help me be strong when I have no strength left? That is what living and loving is all about. 

Now that I have a plan with this pain management doctor I saw yesterday I feel like I am not living in the unknown. She told me it will take a long time but that I won't be like this forever. Wow, what a relief to hear those words. Yes my life will still be different and I will still have to be careful and mindful about what I do but knowing that there is hope to move forward is the best thing I could hear.

Gaining strength in each moment to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Finding the courage to never give up even when the odds are against you.