Recovery continues

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you."

-  Rumi

Everybody is always telling me how positive I am. The truth is I don't really have a choice. If you don't stay positive I feel like that would be giving up. Don't get me wrong there are always some dark moments when dealing with challenges and obstacles. But you can't stay there. You have to keep pushing forward toward something better. Towards acceptance of what is. When you accept how things are then you find the power to move past it. 

I should count next time how many injections I get in my back but it's seems like a lot. I just say anywhere from 20-30 including the lidocaine. First they inject the lidocaine all over then they inject the combination of dextrose and saline for the prolotherapy treatment. This last time I about jumped off the table for each one. At one moment wanted to cry and she had to stop to give me a break which means it was bad. I can usually tolerate a lot. But this time I wasn't as sore. Of course sore from the needles and some bruising but I recovered pretty much in a day or so. Now when I say that I don't mean I am pain free but there is such a tremendous difference now then how things were for me a couple months ago. The progress is slow. So slow that you really have to pay attention to see it. But it's there and there is lots of hope. Now maybe I will never be an athlete again but maybe I will. The future and the unknown doesn't scare me anymore. I know that I will never give up.

This year is going to be very exciting. I started as a leader in a council at the healthcare organization I work for. Something I never would of pictured myself doing but others saw something in me that I didn't and here I am. More successful then I would of ever thought. It's not because I am extremely smart. But it is because of my determination. In every obstacle I have faced I found a way. I start my yoga teacher training next month. I move to a new apartment in about 4 weeks and I applied to the university of Washington Bachelor in nursing program starting in the fall. That is a lot to do this year along with my recovery but I am excited about all if it. Do I take on too much? Of course but nobody will be able to say that I didn't give life everything I got. 

Prolotherapy 2nd series

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." 

-  Helen Keller

Prolotherapy series 2:

I have to say it was definitely a lot more painful this time around. Of course we are never excited to go back to experiencing more pain and it definitely seems like an odd concept. But on the other hand makes since as well. Your basically re-injuring the body to trigger it to go through the healing process again and try to rebuild the ligaments holding everything together. 

After my first treatment I was definitely a little leery about wether I was doing the right thing or not, since I had started making some improvements on my own and then I got worse after the injections.  Of course anytime you re-injure something you can expect to get worse. But then toward the end I started feeling stronger. Bad days got less and less and I kinda feel like I was able to do more. Of course still experienced pain but a tolerable pain which may be all a person can ask for. It could be I will have some pain for the rest of my life but the goal is to become more functional and keep the pain from getting out of control. 

I am very hopeful and excited to see my progress and recovery this year. Next injection is on February 10th.

My Story

June 2009

December 2013

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”  

~ Jim Rohn

Back in June 2009 I had succeed in losing about 60 lbs and went from a size 16 in pants to a 4-6. This all happened in less then a year. I completely changed my life not just physically but mentally. I wasn't inspired when I started. I almost feel like I was dragged into the gym kicking and screaming but yet with some curiosity and longing for a healthier life. I knew I was on the edge and I couldn't go much further without falling off if I didn't make some changes. I just didn't know what those changes were. 

At that point in my life I had been a nurse for 5 years. Doesn't seem like a long time when you think about it. But the effects it had on me could of seemed like a century. I had gained over 60 lbs in college. I experienced my first panic attack in nursing school. Over those years I tried many diets only lasting a few days. I would go to the gym for a day then stop. My husband had convinced me to try a new gym. We were talked into buying personal training when we definitely couldn't really afford it. But this training changed my life. I started working out a lot. The trainer put me on a diet. My energy increased and I started to experience what it felt like to feel good. I hadn't known this feeling in a really long time if ever. This is when I really got inspired. The results kept me going and ever since then I refused to ever go back. 

When I first started losing weight I couldn't even do a pushup. Running caused me to fall down gasping for breath. But over time the athlete inside of me came out. I have always been pretty determined and have always loved rising to a challenge. If someone said it couldn't be done it gave me one more reason to keep pushing. A fire sparked inside of me. My diet originally consisted of brown rice, oatmeal, eggs, veggies, lean protein and some healthy fat. I even got to eat bread occasionally. This was more along the lines of a bodybuilding diet. Eventually I plateaued and got interested in crossfit which introduced me to the paleo diet. And this was how I lost the rest. At that point I had improved my fitness level so much I started competing in fitness competitions ranging from crossfit, olympic weightlifting, and half marathons. I got certified as an instructor and dedicated my life to not only helping myself but helping others to change their life like I did. 

I grew up in Florida most of my life. As a child I struggled with my weight. I played softball since I was a little kid and one day my mom let me join tae kwon do. I excelled and threw myself into it. I lost a lot of weight and gained self confidence. I received my black belt and competed in the Jr. Olympics. During high school I competed in track and cross country and was the only girl on the wrestling team. Even though my skill wasn't the greatest my wrestling coach told me I had the most heart. After high school I received a scholarship for college after writing an essay about my family's battle with my fathers multiple sclerosis. During college I lost myself a bit during the struggle. I am not the most book smart but I do get things done when I put my mind to it. In college I got certified as an EMT and received my degree as a registered nurse. I can't say it was easy but every time someone told me I couldn't finish it drove me that much closer to success. I think that is why I have thank the people that were so hard on me. 

May 2009

My Husband has been a big part of my journey and has been on his own journey as well. Without the right support in your life these things that are already hard will be even harder to accomplish. My friends and my family have been with me every step of the way and continuing to see my beauty and strength even when I didn't see it myself. 

“Real leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination. ” 

~  Unknown 

December 2009

Day 1 Whole 30 Diet - 2014 New Year Better Me

"Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” 

-  Optah Winfrey 

After a small glass of champagne at midnight to celebrate bringing in the new year the journey to a healthier me has begun. Not that I was completely unhealthy before but let's face it we just strive for perfection but will never reach it. We just try to get one step closer each day. I definitely got off track over the holidays and I am very excited to start fresh. I know I feel so much better when I eat right and very much looking forward to getting that feeling back. 

This morning I started off with a cup of coffee with coconut milk. Three eggs, 1/2 avacado and 1 small apple for breakfast. I have already had two large glasses of water which means frequent bathroom breaks are about to begin but water is one the most important things I need to improve upon this year. 

Now my husband is not fond at all of the coffee with coconut milk so we bought him some black tea. Yerba matte is also a good choice for tea in the morning from my experience. 

The rest of the day I didn't really focus on cooking until it was time for lunch. I like my spaghetti squash with clarified butter and hot sauce. Hot sauce is accepted on the diet you just have to make sure it doesn't have unapproved ingredients. So I quickly put some butter in a pot melted it thoroughly and then let it sit for a while. I scooped the white portion on the top and used a small strainer with the tiny holes. Some recipies say to use cheesecloth but that wasn't available to me so I modified and did the best I could. I found out around dinner time though that the butter doesn't microwave very well as it exploded all over. What a mess! After you make your butter you combine one half hot sauce and one half butter. 

I finally cooked another batch of chicken so that there would be enough for tomorrow. Between me and my husband it doesn't last long. Then came the dishes. I can see this is going to get out of control quick since I can only do a certain amount then have to rest my back so I don't overdue it and become in excruciating pain again. 

I have done better then I have been doing with my water. I had 4 - 16 oz glasses of the flavored water I prepared yesterday. Definitely comes in handy. I rotate flavored which keeps me from getting bored with it. I have also had 2-3 cups of herbal (non-caffeinated) tea. 

I think I can decrease my portion sizes a little as I am very full after I eat a meal but I ate 3 large meals when I should be trying to eat 5-6 meals/snacks per day. Something to improve upon. Smaller meals more frequently keeps the metabolism going vs large meals kinda overload the body. 

So far I feel fantastic. Don't have much energy right now but it's the end of the day. Dedication and pushing through one day at a time will lead me to success and eventually eating healthy will once again become a habit. 

Just to add I started taking fish oil today 1 tbs this morning and ended my day with a calcium magnesium supplement. 

My first workout included:

3 sets of 20 - wall push ups 

3 sets of 10 - split squats with back leg on chair

I felt some slight soreness in my back after the squats but after sitting down for a bit it is starting to improve. Will have to monitor how it affected me. One amazing thing is is how hard the wa push-ups were for me. I guess not being able to workout much for over 6 months it's for sure going to be a challenge getting back into things as my back allows. 

New Years Eve Food Prep

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. ” 

― Walt Disney Company

So today was food preparation day since I have been saying for a while that New Year's Day was the day I was going to start a strict diet for 30 days. I am not even labeling it a New Years resolution but yet using New Years as a reason to start new. It is very much needed as I have gotten a bit off track this holiday season and since I am unable to workout much at all with my back diet is extremely important. This not just to keep my weight down even though that is a huge part but also to see how diet can improve an injury such the one I have been dealing with for over 6 months. 

I will be starting the whole 30 diet first thing in the morning. 

The Whole 30 Program/

Shopping List

Step One: Clean out your fridge. 

Now I am not one big on wasting but sometimes it is necessary to get you on the right track otherwise you will always have a reason to not do something. 

Step Two: Place all your produce out so it reminds you it exists.

Step Three: Make sure you have containers. Not just for packing the food you cook but to also bring your food to work. Having food with you at all times in a necessity.

First up....Spaghetti Squash. I cut it in half. Place it upside down in a microwavable dish with a little water covering the bottom. Then I microwave for 10 mins.

First mistake....or well first mistake I am admitting to is leaving butter on top of the microwave while I cook spaghetti squash. The clean up got a bit messy needless to say. 

Next up...Mashed sweet potatoes. Now normally I cook my sweet potatoes in the microwave but I have say this way the potatoes turned out much better even though the process was way longer. 

If I had paid much attention to the recipe I would of remembered that I should of been looking for the potatoes to be drooling should I say. So the first time I took them out I started cutting them up realizing they were not done yet. Back in the oven they went until the caramelizing process started. Yum....

Ok it would of been nice if my dog got up and helped me a bit but she was having too much fun enjoying the first. Look at that smile! :)

I am a big fan of coconut oil but since budget has been a big issue recently I chose to buy a tremendously big bottle of olive oil from Costco since I was positive that would last me a while and it was much cheaper. Just because funds are tight doesn't mean you can't make this work. 

Next up....sauteed onions and mushrooms with garlic. Why? Well why not I guess. I have done many diets before and I know if I don't do something to spice up the chicken it will get very boring after a while. 

And now of course the chicken. Sauteed a little in a pan to brown each breast and then popped it in the oven at 350 degrees for 20 mins. Came out a bit dry so it probably didn't need to cook that long. Lesson learned I will eat it anyway. This food is not to be wasted.

Of course I didn't have a plan before throwing the chicken on to cook so I had to scramble for some quick spice ideas. Nothing much simpler then salt and pepper. Of course if you notice the box below I had to do some digging since I haven't been cooking a lot recently and the chicken was cooking fast and not waiting for me to figure out what spices I was going to use. 

Of course in the end finding out my thermometer was broken I couldn't make sure the chicken was 165 degrees so I just went with the good old cutting open and making sure it wasn't pink and was flaky.


Of course when you are working on eating healthy water just automatically comes with it and since I don't like water much expect Evian which is one of the most expensive waters out there and coconut water which cost even more. I have to get creative.

Now at this point in the day I decided to forget or just skip breakfast all together. Its early afternoon and I am completely exhausted. So lesson learned for sure. I had to put my cooking to work to give me a few calories so I could get back on my feet. Of course as I sat down to eat I decided I was done cooking for the day. Being at a complete loss of motivation and energy. I believe I have prepared enough food to get a great start in the morning. 

Man, for someone that really dislikes cooking this is certainly one of the hardest parts of eating healthy for me. I already this will be very difficult but it is my determination that has gotten me through every difficult situation I encounter.

Happy Cooking!

My application to the University of Washington

This week I will be completing my application to the University of Washington Bachelor in Nursing Degree Program. This is a huge step for me in my career and by no doubt will not be easy. Of course when is anything worth doing easy. I pride myself in having to work extra hard in everything I do but I rejoice in the fact that I never give up. 

Essay:

​Ever since graduating nursing school, I have known I wanted to pursue a more advanced degree, because when I do something I want to do it to the best of my ability which requires continuing to increase my knowledge to better care for others. During the last 9 years working as a nurse, I have traveled around the country gaining vast amounts of knowledge in different specialties and experience in some of the top facilities in the country. This has helped me to see the good and bad of healthcare, what we are doing right, and what we can improve upon.

​My career path has not been without its twists, turns, and bumps in the road. From the very beginning, I have had to push on when people told me that I should not bother pursuing such a profession. Had I believed them, I could have resigned myself to the fact that I had neither the money, nor the academic aptitude for advancing my education. My account of my father's struggle with Multiple Sclerosis and its effect on the rest of my family gained me a scholarship and off to college I went. With my strengths not being an ability to learn quickly and effortlessly, but rather in my level of drive and determination to succeed, I knew I would have to put in a lot of extra time, and use every resource at my disposal to achieve my dream. I struggled a lot. I had horrible test anxiety. Every time someone told me it was not worth it and that I should just quit, I knew that there was one more person that I could prove wrong. That is exactly what I did. This experience has served me well throughout my career as I have worked in many different facilities, and with many years spent as a travel nurse I have had to become comfortable with ever changing and not always the most welcoming environments.

​I have had the unique pleasure of working in many different locations throughout my career. My experience has taken me not only to different facilities, but to different cities, states, and regions of the country. My desire to help those who need it most has been an excellent fit so far. Not only have I been able to learn how to work effectively with vastly different personalities, almost everywhere I have gone I have had an opportunity to work extensively with the local homeless population and with a great number of IV drug users. Those among us who have been written off by most of society as a lost cause, still need and deserve to be cared for. Every person who looks the other way or mutters under their breath as they walk by these people has squandered an opportunity to make a difference in someone's day, maybe even their life.

​I have been selected for and have pursued a variety of leadership opportunities in my organization, including being a charge nurse and representing my department in the clinical practice council. I have also been nominated and elected as the future chair of the council for 2014. I am an active part of a mindfulness based stress reduction group in my organization which is at the beginning stages of researching and working with pilot groups to future see how we can implement these tools within the organization to not only provide better care for the patients but for the staff as well. I have received many letters of recognition from patients and staff.

​Recently, I was selected to give a speech for the American Heart Association at Cheney Stadium about my own personal transformation to encourage and inspire others to live healthier lives. I truly believe that we cannot provide what we don't have ourselves. If healthcare providers don't care for themselves how can they teach others to provide this care and be the example?  To further my mission to lead by example, I have enrolled in a teacher training program starting in February to become a yoga instructor. I feel this will be a valuable contrast to my other fitness related certifications and credentials which I put to use when I volunteered to teach a circuit training class at Tacoma General Hospital to employees. This is my way of giving back to other healthcare workers and helping them change their own life so they can in turn better change the lives of the patients they care for.

​ My reasons for pursuing my BSN not only lie in my passion to better myself but to also put my career in a position where I will be able to have a greater influence in improving the working environment of the front line staff and have more of a direct impact in improving the quality of life for the staff and the patients. After my BSN my ambition lies in pursuing my masters in healthcare leadership and being the type of leader the doesn't just give orders but inspires others to keep the dream alive and continuing to make an impact in the lives of others.

New Year Better You: What will you do?

So we are only a few days away from 2014. I hear some people say New Years resolutions are stupid. But from what I can see a resolution to better yourself would only be stupid when um...actually I don't see any reason a goal would be stupid. People say when you make a New Years resolution it never happens. If you want to accomplish a goal you have to work toward it. Unfortunately we can't just say my New Years resolution is to lose weight and never take the appropriate steps toward achieving that goal and expect it to happen. I personally think New Years is a great time to set a goal. Sometimes or mist of the time we need a reason to get started with something and if New Years can be enough of a reason for you to take that first step then what are you waiting for?