Don't let all your hard work go to waste

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” 

-  Beverly Sills

So for the last 9 months or so being unable to do very much working out of course I was paranoid about gaining weight. I have pretty much had an obsession about this since I lost all my weight about 4 or so years ago. Even though I know I know better or at least I thought I did, I started not eating very much. Pretty much just grazing maybe eating 3 times a day. Well I have been losing weight so its working right? But then when seeing my natropathic doctor the other day she mentioned to me that I wouldn't want this beautiful metabolism that I have worked so hard for over the years to go to waste. It might be working for me now but what's going to happen later. Something else to consider is the weight I am losing fat or muscle. Well I don't think I had very much fat so chances are its muscle since I haven't been able to lift anything with my back. My exercise routine has pretty much consisted of some gentle yoga and short 1 mile walks. My focus now in order to be successful still needs to consist of healthy foods and mostly eating foods that decrease vs. increase inflammation since I want to keep the inflammation as low as possible I will need all the help I can get. I do recall that I used to make fun of people who ate like I am eating now. You may be thinking what has your diet been like. Ok, so even though I am very embarrassed saying this cause I would of never thought of eating this way before I will confess.

Breakfast:
A small bowl of cereal with milk
(yes, I know me eating cereal!)

Lunch:
A half of peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Dinner:
A chicken breast and veggies
(now that's more like it I know)

So of course I didn't eat the exact same everyday but some days were probably this bad. I know what was I thinking? Or was I thinking. My thoughts existed behind the wanting to not spend so much money on food. I get lectures from my financial adviser all the time wondering how I could possibly spend so much money on food. But when you are eating like 5 chicken breast a day and lots of veggies and sweet potato which is not even including the food my husband eats this tends to get very expensive.

So all in all my intentions were good but I have come to realize that I am probably going about this the wrong way. Chances are that I will be more successful keeping my weight off correctly by eating small more frequent meals. I can still experiment with cheaper options such as using other sources of protein like beans and nuts. I never would of counted things like that toward my protein source but I have to remember I am not a weightlifter anymore which means a lot of adjustments and changes have to be made.

Goal: Improve my nutrition while still searching for money saving options. Eat more of an anti inflammatory diet to keep the inflammation in my back down and drink more water.

As stated on web md and anti inflammatory diet consists of:

• Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
• Minimize saturated and trans fats.
• Eat a good source of omega-3 fatty acids, such as fish or fish oil supplements and walnuts.
• Watch your intake of refined carbohydrates such as pasta and white rice.
• Eat plenty of whole grains such as brown rice and bulgur wheat.
• Eat lean protein sources such as chicken; cut back on red meat and full-fat dairy foods.
• Avoid refined foods and processed foods.
• Spice it up. Ginger, curry, and other spices can have an anti-inflammatory effect.

http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/anti-inflammatory-diet-road-to-good-health

Sample diet idea:

Breakfast:
2 eggs with veggies or fruit

Snack:
Handful of nuts

Lunch:
1/2 cup brown rice, 1/2 cup black beans, and 1/2 avocado

Snack:
Greek yogurt

Dinner:
4-6 oz chicken and veggies

Snack:
Nuts and Fruit

Now that I struggled to come up with just a sample diet I can see I will have to get more creative. Part of me enjoys cooking and part of me doesn't like to deal with the stress and cleanup cooking leads to. I am definitely not a natural cook which means I have to put a lot more effort into it then some. But I still do believe in whole foods and eating 5-6 times a day. It's time to get back on track.

What is your favorite money saving meal?

Technology in Our Life, Our Mind and Our Sanity

I do sit and wonder in this whole world out there how many people are just like me. Probably so many more then I think. Wow, that is a pretty interesting thought. I was just sitting here imagining what others are doing and thinking at this very moment. What would happen if you put all of our thoughts together? Would they be very similar or completely different? Now I think I am getting sort of off topic and daydreaming instead.

To start with I know I am a big thinker. Of course aren't we all? It seems that is the nature of the mind. To think. Of course thinking wasn't as much of a problem when I had more to do to distract me. During my recovery from my back injury sitting at home all day everyday gives you way to much time to think. But going back to being distracted. It seems as a society a lot of the changes have been very good and beneficial but on the other hand probably not so much in other ways. If you think about all the distraction we all have on a daily basis from the busyness of our life and technology taking over no wonder we are all stressed and frantic. No wonder the amount of thinking we do has probably increased significantly.

Let's look at phones for instance. It originally started with just a phone from home. Which must have been so peaceful if you think about it. I don't even think anybody was able to leave a message originally. Now of course this would not work in today's society. But think about how distracted we get from our phone. We can do everything on it. When I was in my doctors office yesterday this lady was at the counter and said my phone is my life. She kind of repeated it over and over again and said she didn't know what she would do if something happened to her phone. As guilty as I am with getting kind of obsessed with my phone at times I realize the problem here.

Since I realize what is going on and what the problems are it gives me something to work on in my own life. I believe we need to live by example. Instead of focusing our attention on others and trying to change people around us, we really need to be putting all that attention in our self. How does change occur? I believe change happens by one person stepping out of the box. Finding a different way. Then when others see your success and realize how well your way works. It seems you would end up with change.

Now I am sure this discussion could go on forever but I think you get the picture. I think as a whole we should all breath more, think less (or I should say not get as involved in our thinking), and remember to enjoy the little things. Enjoy all the moments life has to offer because when we get too involved and worked up in the busyness we miss the journey. And the journey is what makes this thing called life worthwhile.

"Breathing in, I calm my body.

Breathing out, I smile.

Dwelling in the present moment,

I know this is a wonderful moment."

-  Thich Nhat Hanh

"I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples."

-  Mother Teresa

Looking back

Childhood

High school

College

After

Now

Learning about my body

"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

-  Stephen Hawking

I have to say rehabbing my back has been a huge learning experience for me in which now I almost feel as if I am in school with homework assignments and everything. I guess that is what happens when you get good medical care. Being a nurse myself I find all this very intriguing. Of course I learned about the muscles in school but for the last 4 years my focus has been on the veins and unless you deal with muscles day in and day out it is not very realistic to think you will remember them all. 

Today I learned about my multifidus muscles. Say what? Lol these are a small but I guess very important muscle in your back and supposedly a few of mine decided to take a vacation when they got tired of my back spasming and freaking out. I guess after a while they just decide to check out. So with a little contraction and relaxation work by putting my fingers on the muscles it will hopefully be able to train them to get back to work. 

Another thing I have discovered partially on my own and with a bit more education on it from my physical therapist is that when you are sitting it is best to sit with an anterior tilt vs. posterior tilt. Are you confused yet? Anterior tilt would be when you arch just the lower part of your spine, make  your bottom stick out and face your pubic bone to the ground. The posterior tilt is when you try to tuck your pelvis underneath (tuck your bum under), flatten the bottom of your lower back and face your pubic bone to the ceiling. Now I am of course no expert on all this stuff but it will be a continual learning process. But what I do know is I am becoming more aware of my body, how it feels, what helps and what doesn't. But for sure doing an anterior pelvic tilt when sitting down has been a tremendous pain reliever. 

Are you a visual learner?

Posterior Pelvic Tilt

Anterior Pelvic Tilt

So this is fantastic. I am making more and more progress each and everyday. Becoming more knowledgeable and mindful. And really looking forward to getting back to work next week which is when my self care and mindfulness about my body is going to be the ticket to my success in continuing my career and leading an active life. 

So the keys to recovery is understanding and knowledge. Persistence and dedication to finding what works. Don't ever let someone tell you there is not a way because when you stop trying you stop progressing. When you stop believing you stop living. 

Rehab Level 1

"I am too positive to be doubtful, 

too optimistic to be fearful, 

and too determined 

to be defeated."

So part of the keys to rehabbing successfully is knowledge and determination. This experience has been a huge eye opener for me. Coming to the realization that there are many people out there just like me dealing the very same or similar struggles. Being a healthcare professional myself I can certainly say we need a lot of work and it definitely appears we are going about this the wrong way. 

I recently had an interaction with a orthopedic surgeon who stood in front of me and told me that I had degenerative disc disease and annular tears in my back. He preceded to tell me that the pain I was experiencing was something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life and that there was absolutely nothing he could do for me. Wow, being a very active person and having a very active job this came as quite a shock to me. Of course I believed him. I mean he's the doctor right? 

Being a person that has always been determined to find a way no matter what of course I was not going to leave it at that. In my last semester of nursing school the instructor told me there was no way I could pass her class and graduate. Well guess what...I did. I was determined to prove her wrong. I spent the last 3 weeks of school putting everything I had into it. Of course I had to take anxiety and sleeping pills to deal with the anxiety attacks I was having for those 3 weeks but I was going to do whatever it took. I had worked too hard and nobody and I mean nobody was going to stop me. I made an nearly perfect score on my final exam to pull that off. 

I have never been one to be told I couldn't do something. And that part about me won't change. I am however getting wiser with age. Years ago I became determined to take care of my body. And as much as I thought all my fitness endeavors were part of being healthy it was probably more fun then it was beneficial. But without regrets because those were some fantastic years. It is time for me to really listen to my body. 

Listening to my body right now and doing things right is the only way I will be able to live a somewhat active life with minimal pain at this point. Which means that there is hope. Not hope that I will one day run a marathon because that would not be a smart thing for me to do but hope that I will be able to possibly not be in pain for the rest of my life. Hope that I will be able to continue to be fit and play with my kids when I have them. And hope that maybe one day I will be able to play a softball game, go for a hike, and ride a bike. It's really the simple things that I look forward to. I want to go back to work and continue with a job that I love so much. 

After 8 weeks of trying to deal with this pain and find the appropriate people to help me recover and get through this I have finally found a very dedicated and talented team of people that I know will get me where I want to be. A great chiropractor, incredibly talented massage therapist, a doctor who will listen, and a physical therapist with miracle stretches. Yes miracle...4 stretches that pretty much instantly took my pain away and allowed me to move in a way I wasn't able to move before. Now of course it will take time. These muscles didn't become tight overnight and I will continually have to work at it to stretch, strengthen and obtain more balance in my body. With all this I will get less and less pain and be able to function better each and everyday. 

Below are the muscles I will be tackling first. It is time for me and my muscles to loosen up a bit. 

Anatomy

Quadratus Lumborum Stretch

The Quadratus Lumborum is a quadrilateral-shaped muscle of the abdomen that arises from the iliac crest and the iliolumbar ligament, inserts into the lowest rib and the upper four lumbar vertebrae, and functions especially to flex the trunk laterally

Psoas Stretch

Psoas are muscles of the lower back. There are two psoas muscles on each side of the back. The larger of the two is called the psoas major and the smaller the psoas minor.

The psoas major originates at the spine around the bottom of the rib cage and runs down to the thigh bone (the femur). The psoas major acts to flex the hip.

The psoas minor also originates at the spine around the bottom of the rib cage but it runs down to the bony pelvis. It acts to flex the lower (lumbar) spine.

Hip Rotation Stretch

Iliacus Stretch

The iliacus is a triangular muscle that passes from the pelvis through the groin on either side and, together with the psoas, flexes the hip.

Who are we?

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

- Dr. Seuss

So often we seem to get so involved in our activities that we feel as if we are that activity. If someone asked you who you are, what would your answer be?

To be honest when I think about that question it actually seems very challenging to answer. Can we describe who we are? I have always had trouble with those questions that ask you to list your strengths. It does appear very interesting that it seems easier to list our weaknesses then our strengths. Maybe it's because we are always telling ourself what we need to improve on and forgetting to congratulate ourself for what we have done well. I know I can be very guilty of this. 

I guess you can say for sure that my injury has made me really think about who I am and who I thought I was before. Now I am not Kim the olympic weightlifter, not kim the crossfitter. now i am just Kim. Who is Kim? Do you think others know who I am more then me?

Well that is entirely possible. Which I guess gives me something to work on. It doesn't matter what my body is able to do deep inside I will always be Kim. I have so many great things to look forward to. So many great things I can accomplish. I can still be fit and healthy. And I can still be me. The idea of retiring from competing and lifting heavy weights doesn't bother me anymore. I know now that I will get better. I am sure there are people that keep going back to it. But I am listening to my body now. It's telling me to take it easy. I just want to be healthy. I don't want to go through this again. I know that the challenges in my life are not over but I am learning from this one. If I take care of my body it will take care of me. Don't let what you do and what others think define who you are. 

So who am I?

I am someone with determination. I have a kind heart. I am silly. I am someone with not the prettiest voice but with a voice that's heard. I am someone people remember. I love to inspire and be inspired. I love to do what others think and say to be impossible. I am someone with a terrible memory but knows how to get the job done. Who am I? I am Kim and this is my story.

Finding Hope

"Only in the darkness can you see the stars."

-  Martin Luther King Jr.

So yesterday was by far one of the best days for me. Not because I was pain free cause I wasn't. But because I found hope. I found a doctor that listened and helped me come up with a plan. Finding someone to ensure you that there is hope can make all the difference in the world. Why cant we find hope inside when everybody is telling us there is no hope at all? Well it's not impossible but definitely a very challenging task. 

This is one example of where the problems lie in the healthcare industry. Now not all doctors are this way but when I saw the orthopedic surgeon who by the way advertised surgical and non surgical options told me that in his opinion working at the hospital wouldn't irritate my back (now that I have to laugh at because obviously he had no idea what nurses do), and then preceded to tell me that my condition is permanent, that I wouldn't be able to do the things I used to do and will always be in pain. And as if all that wasn't enough he told me there was absolutely nothing he could do for me. So I need to remember to call the doctors office and tell them to have the non surgical part removed from his bio. 

Being a healthcare professional myself and now experiencing this is a great. Ok not great in the fact that I am enjoying it cause I am not but great in the fact that I will have an even greater understanding and compassion for my patients after this. Knowing that everybody needs a smile. Everybody needs to feel loved and cared for. And everybody needs some kind of hope. I know everybody's situation is different. But there is always something positive that can be given to them. Even if they are at the end of their life you can still bring them peace and happiness. 

So maybe all of this has happened for a reason. I have so many great things to look forward to in my life. My career has taken me to great places where I will have the opportunity to really make a difference. My life has given me experiences that have allowed me to reach out to others, to inspire them and help them to know that all things are possible. I am eventually going to have a family in which I will be able to make a huge impact in my child's life and hopefully help guide them toward peace, success and happiness in their own life. 

I am truly blessed and grateful for everybody that has helped me through this difficult time in my life. I have always felt as if I had to always be the strong one no matter what. That I wasn't allowed to fall down. A few days ago my husband said to me, "It's ok to let everybody else be strong for you right now. It's ok." Wow what a huge relief. You mean there are others that will help me be strong when I have no strength left? That is what living and loving is all about. 

Now that I have a plan with this pain management doctor I saw yesterday I feel like I am not living in the unknown. She told me it will take a long time but that I won't be like this forever. Wow, what a relief to hear those words. Yes my life will still be different and I will still have to be careful and mindful about what I do but knowing that there is hope to move forward is the best thing I could hear.

Gaining strength in each moment to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Finding the courage to never give up even when the odds are against you.